elegy of the detained
by Immoroita
Summary: she volunteers because she can. [finnick & annie]


**Author's Note: **A different spin on Annie. Usually, she's the sweet, vulnerable girl who's been Finnick's friend since childhood and is his emotional anchor. I see her that way too, most of the time, but really, there are so many different ways to perceive their story – it doesn't seem fair to exclude some of the more different perspectives.

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** she volunteers because she can. [finnick & annie]

* * *

**T**he sea is calm on the day she first meets Finnick Odair.

She's short and scrawny for a nine-year-old, so she has to stand on her tiptoes to see properly out the window. Squinting to protect her eyes from the sun, Annie sees him playing with her older brother in the waves, and instantly is mesmerized by how – even at the age of thirteen – he's lean and muscular and practically glows in the light of the sun.

"Davie!" she calls, racing out the front door to join them in the water, stopping at the waves and feeling the water lap at her toes. Her brother turns and waves at her, cerulean eyes glinting in the sunlight. "Annie! This is Finnick Odair."

"Hi," Annie says a tad shyly, looking over at the boy with the piercing green eyes and the curly bronze hair. He smiles a little at her in acknowledgement, but returns his attention to Davie. Soon, the two of them are engaged in some kind of game that involves an inflated plastic ball that the two of them throw and hit around. Annie sits down on the beach, toes in the water, and watches the two of them intently (but Finnick most of all).

The two boys play in the water until the sun dips below the horizon and the wind picks up, with Annie sitting idly there, knotting rope absentmindedly, often glancing up discreetly. The waves get stronger and the sky darkens, at which point Mrs. Cresta shouts at the three of them to return inside before they catch colds. Finnick bids Davie farewell, barely sparing a glance for Annie, and races off home, taking his inflated plastic ball with him.

Annie watches him until he is out of sight.

The house that the Cresta family lives in is right next to the ocean, and although Annie has never seen anything more wonderful than the sea and the sand, she makes her mind up right then and there that Finnick Odair is more beautiful than any of these things combined.

* * *

**O**ver the next year, Annie sees Finnick Odair everywhere – in the schoolyard, out on the sea, and sometimes out in the town, bargaining for fish. Each time, she attempts to approach him, but he never once acknowledges her unless absolutely necessary, and surrounds himself with a halo of friends that come and go. Her brother, Davie, is the only constant; each day, there's a new ring of friends that rotate around him protectively.

He is from a fisherman's family, of course, and Annie memorizes the way he throws the net out to ensnare fish and spears them cleanly with his trident. She admires the way he does it so neatly, so precisely, and spends many an hour watching him obsessively.

The Reaping for the 65th Hunger Games falls two weeks after Annie's tenth birthday. She doesn't worry about the Reaping – after all, her father makes a steady income as a fisherman, her mother as a seamstress, and there is no need for her brother to sign up for tesserae. Davie's name has only been in there three times. There's no need to worry about either of them.

Her hands still clench together, regardless, as the painted escort struts across the stage to the males' Reaping ball. The female tribute – a Career – stands proudly on the stage, looking fully confident that she will be able to come out victorious.

There's no need to worry. It won't be Davie.

The escort's long, claw-like nails search the ball teasingly, and pick out a single slip of paper. She crosses back to the microphone, clears her throat into it, and reads the name loudly and clearly.

It's only when the final syllable of the name has dropped from the woman's heavily made up lips that Annie realizes, all too late, who the person she's worried about is.

* * *

**H**e wins. Of course he does. Annie had known he would all along.

(She ignores the fact that he kills his own district partner and murders without a second thought, and holds onto the image of the perfect, golden boy.)

* * *

**W**hen the hovercraft brings him back and he steps down from it, basking in the glory of victory, Annie is at the front of the crowd, trying to get his attention. He glances at her as his feet meet the ground lightly, and the hovercraft starts to fly away. His adoring fans cheer and scream his name as Annie waves her arms wildly, smiling so widely that her cheeks hurt.

Finnick's sea-green eyes meet hers, and they are distinctly less bright than they were a mere fifteen days ago. They're hollow and made of wood. Annie's smile falters, and her cries of his name become more uncertain. "F - Finnick?"

He shakes his head at her, a miniscule movement. Just as she's about to ask him what the matter is, his eyes light up and a charming smile graces his face as he turns to the crowd of cheering people. He answers questions, makes jokes, and becomes a twisted, sick version of himself.

Annie doesn't like this version of Finnick. He doesn't seem… he doesn't seem alive.

She runs over to him, trying to get through to him, but the crowd blocks him from her. Several times, his gaze falls on her little form, jumping and shouting his name. But, each time, he ignores her and turns away.

* * *

**E**ventually, Annie gets tired of seeking validation from Finnick, who leaves to go on magnificent trips to the Capitol almost every week. Over the years, it becomes so that he spends more time there than back in District Four. Whenever he comes back, she's always there to greet him, even when there's nobody else, but he ignores her blatantly and returns to his home in the Victors' Village without looking at her.

Each time, he becomes more run-down and haggard, and returns looking older than he should.

Davie tells her not to be so hung-up on Finnick. Her older brother bears a grudge against the dazzling Victor, who has been increasingly distanced from his childhood friend since he won the Games. Surrounded by all the wealth in the world and people who would line up for his company, why would Finnick want to spend time with someone like Davie?

As soon as she turns twelve, two days after the Reaping for the 67th Hunger Games, Annie signs up for battle training.

The 67th Games come and go, and as soon as the final cannon fires, Annie is out of the room and is racing off to the Training Center. She's determined that one day, if she becomes strong enough, she'll be able to prove to Finnick just how brave she is. Then, maybe, he'll be the one who seeks validation from her.

* * *

**T**hree years of long, hard training pays off. Annie has become more confident, more arrogant, and stronger than ever before. She has made friends at the Training Center: potential Career girls and boys who are lethal killing machines. She knows that, although they are equipped for fighting and know that being in the Games is an honor, only a handful of them would really volunteer.

Annie becomes notorious for her skill with a dagger and gains a reputation. (She always neglects to mention the fact that she hails from a fisherman's family, however, and stays quiet when her friends talk about their parents, who are mostly businessmen and politicians, and manages to steer the topic away most of the time.)

Davie is safe from the dangers of the Reaping and spends his days out on the ocean, fishing from dawn until dusk. Annie turns fifteen five days before the Reaping of the 70th Hunger Games.

The sea is stormy and winds whip through the District as the citizens of District Four trudge to the District Courtyard. Annie stands in the middle of the females and stares up as the familiar escort glides over to the Reaping Ball and picks out the name of the female tribute. She reads the name out, voice dripping with sick malice. "Sadie Bell!"

Immediately, Annie knows who it is. Sadie Bell – the pretty, wealthy girl who was three years above her in school and was one year away from being safe from the Reaping. The girl who always wore low-cut shirts and short pants, and whom was rumored to be Finnick's girlfriend.

Annie looks over at Finnick, standing on the edge of the stage, and he's looking down at Sadie, who is walking slowly over to the stage. He doesn't look sad – but, well, Annie can't see him clearly.

Her mouth is open and the clear, strong voice cuts through the silence.

"I volunteer!"

Sadie turns quickly and races back at the sound, as Annie takes her place on the stage. She sees Sadie crying in happiness and clutching onto her mother, and tries not to roll her eyes.

_Sadie Bell, you are a coward._

Her eyes are on Finnick for the rest of the Reaping, but he never looks her way. A boy named Eli Hower is reaped; he's one of her friends from the Training Center, and she knows him to be weak physically but one of the sharpest people she knows. He's devastatingly accurate with a bow and arrow, and can throw daggers with deadly precision.

When the crowd disperses, Annie feels someone's eyes on her. She turns her head to see Finnick Odair, who's staring at her wordlessly, looking lost and more tired than ever.

* * *

**T**he Capitol is glamorous and even though, for the Parade, Annie is dressed in a flowing blue gown that makes her look too artificial, too unreal, she twirls for herself in the mirror afterwards, and pretends that she is beautiful. The Capitol makes her feel like a better version of herself, if she can ignore the darkness lurking behind her visit to this seemingly wonderful place.

Finnick is meant to be more her mentor than Eli's, but he interacts with her as minimally as possible. She doesn't mind; once she wins the Games, he'll realize that he's been wrong to ignore her all this time, and she'll finally get her validation.

In the Training Center, she forges an alliance with the tributes from One and Two. Eli joins them, as well, and she sticks to him. He's from home, after all, and even though the Capitol's bright lights and towering buildings are nice, any sort of reminder of District Four is appreciated. Mags, the other mentor, is kind and motherly, but her speech is garbled and difficult to understand.

Annie notices that Finnick is extremely kind and patient with the old woman and it warms her heart.

Because, well, despite everything that's happened over the years, Annie still believes that Finnick is the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.

* * *

**H**er interview passes. She's been instructed to play up the 'sweet little girl with a twist' angle. Her innocent smiles coupled with her honey-soaked voice win the crowd over. It's so, so easy, and it terrifies her, the kind of influence a bit of acting can have. Mags kisses her cheeks and congratulates her, and Eli gives her a friendly nod when she steps down from the stage and it's his turn. Annie can hardly remember any of the other interviews, only that none of them are anything new or extraordinary.

The night before the Games formally begin, Annie lies in bed, wearing the silk pajamas found in her closet, and is about to drift off to a restless sleep when someone knocks on the door.

"Come in," Annie calls out sleepily, and rolls over to see who it is that has just stepped into her room.

Her heart stops beating. Finnick Odair closes the door behind him and leans against the wall with one shoulder, observing her quietly. The air suddenly turns electric and Annie meets his eyes defiantly. Her heart has resumed beating, so loudly and so quickly that she's certain he's able to hear it in the dead silence of the night. Outside, a party rages on.

"Annie Cresta," Finnick says quietly, and Annie's breath hitches. It's the first time he's ever said her name, and it sounds beautiful coming from his lips. His voice isn't the sensuous, seductive purr that Panem is used to hearing. It's frank, and honest, and Annie likes it a million times better than the voice she hears on the television.

"Why did you do it, Annie Cresta?" the golden boy continues, still watching her as she lies in bed, frozen in place. "Why did you volunteer for Sadie?"

She has to swallow before replying, throat dry and unresponsive. "I volunteered because I could."

"That's not a reason," Finnick says quietly, eyes focused and unblinking.

"You're right, it's not," Annie replies, rolling over again so that her back is facing him. "I did it because of you. Get out of my room."

There's a ringing silence in which Annie's breath is the only thing she can hear, and she knows that Finnick has definitely not left her room. It's a long while before he speaks again.

"I never meant to ignore you," he says, and his voice is far away. "If I hadn't, your life would be in danger. It's best that you don't know why."

Annie rolls back over onto her left side, surprised, but before she can say anything, the door shuts quietly, and Finnick Odair is gone.

* * *

**T**he Games come and go.

Finnick sends Annie all the sponsor gifts that he can get and Eli receives almost none.

Annie drowns a thousand times and forgets who she was before the whole ordeal. As the hovercraft comes to collect her limp body, which is coughing up water and is drifting out of consciousness, Annie wonders why anyone even bothers living at all.

There's one last thought that flies into her mind as everything goes black.

_It was Finnick's fault._

* * *

**T**he moment she sees him walking down the hallway to meet her in her hospital ward, she rips away all the plastic tubes holding her in place, ignore the overwhelmingly dizzy sensation that seizes her, and flies at him, shrieking in agony. He doesn't resist when she tackles him to the ground and attacks him, wanting desperately to make him hurt, as the doctors and nurses try to pry her away from him.

"It was you!" Annie screams in his face, clawing her nails down his arms. Finnick stares up at her, bleak-eyed and empty. "You're the reason I was sent here! You didn't help Eli and now he's gone! It's your fault! It's your fault!"

"Annie," Finnick says tiredly, closing his eyes. "Annie Cresta."

It shouldn't calm her, but it does. The fire in her mouth is overwhelmingly strong; ashes pool beneath her tongue and her gums are scorched. She leans down and kisses him hard, wanting so, so desperately for him to feel the fire burning, to taste the bitter taste of loss. She's pulled from him and dragged back to her bed, and she can see him stand up weakly, looking at her with an indiscernible expression in his ragged sea-green eyes.

She can remember what those eyes were like before he was entered in his own Games – so bright and vibrant and full of hope. She could see a future in those eyes. He wasn't built for something like this, and neither was she.

As the morphling enters her veins through an injection that one of the nurses gives her, Annie closes her eyes and realizes that even though she's won the Games, she'll never really be free.

* * *

**O**ver the next seven days, Finnick sits by her bed and holds her hand day and night. He barely even eats or drinks, and never speaks to anybody. She knows she should hate him, but the patience he has with her, even though she's nothing like who she was before, is welcome, and slowly, she warms up to him.

"Annie Cresta is my name," Annie says to him each morning, when she wakes up. "Real or not real?"

"Real," Finnick responds, almost robotically.

"I was born in District Four," Annie will continue. "Real or not real?"

"Real."

"I volunteered for the 70th Hunger Games. Real or not real?"

"Real."

"I did it for you. Real or not real?"

"Real."

"You killed Eli. Real or not real?"

"Not real."

It's the same ten lines, every morning, until one day, Annie stares at him, and says something that she's never said to anyone before.

"I was in love with you."

Finnick looks at her, and says nothing. There is a long, long silence.

The bronze-haired man shifts closer to her after a while. "You're still in love with me," he whispers, and his voice is different in a way that sends a chill up her spine. "Real or not real?"

Annie looks at him, searching those famous sea-green eyes for a note of sincerity. His eyes are bright again, and there's a spark in them that hasn't been there for six years. Her answer hangs on the tip of her tongue, but there's something about Finnick that always renders her speechless.

The single syllable is spoken in a voice that is low and hoarse.

"Real."

Slowly, he eases himself forward until his forehead is meeting hers, and her eyes close.

A tear that doesn't belong to her drops onto her cheek.

"Annie Cresta," her golden boy says. "Oh, Annie Cresta. I'm sorry."

_I'm sorry._

How long has she waited to hear those words coming from his lips?

"I am, too," Annie murmurs, and kisses him again.

This time, there is no fire in her mouth – there is only bliss.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Wow. This was way longer than I intended it to be. The ending is a little bit sloppy, I think, but I really wanted to write out this idea that I got.

Remember to favorite and review if you enjoyed it!


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